Aerise: Kidnap Hevvin!
by pinkrotprince
Summary: Aerise Liberi wants to find the perfect gift for Equius. When she finds a magical hoof-beast, she intends to capture it and give it to him. Aerise is insane, she will ANNIHILATE anyone who gets in her way. Possible two-shot, OC, CRACK


**A/N: **This is total CRACK. I don't even know. I recently discovered Warrior-U and Hevvin is just the best...this...I just don't know. I got the daydreaming and I thought, what would happen if my crazy fan troll kidnapped Hevvin? This may be a two-shot...if I get a review or two. The first part will be written Hussie style (it's amazing how it's no longer just "second person" XD). The second part (if there is one) may be written in a totally different way. The first part is mostly Aerise's point of view.

**Disclaimer: **I'm not cool enough to own Homestuck or Warrior-U. I only own the fic and my fan troll.

**-xoxo-**

You are AERISE LIBERI and you are currently looking for a gift for your FLUSHED INTEREST, EQUIUS ZAHHAK. You have concealed yourself behind some rather LARGE BUSHES. However, THIS IS NOT VERY EFFECTIVE seeing as though a rather large portion of your head IS STILL VISIBLE.

= Find a better hiding place!

You look around and spot a sturdy looking TREE. Its large branches would be the perfect place to secrete yourself!

=Get the climbing!

After falling for the umpteenth time, you successfully scale the large flora. You are extremely CLUMSY. It took at least SIX TRIES.

=HOLY- WHAT IS THAT?

Keeping yourself hidden you examine the specimen from above. It appears to be a HOOF BEAST. But wait, this isn't an ordinary hoof beast. It has a horn protruding from the front of its cranium. Your eyes grow wide. THIS. IS. PERFECT. You must capture this magnificent beast IMMEDIATELY!

Aerise: Consult the All-Knowing Sphere of Fortune.

It's just an eight-ball! Regardless, you retrieve it from the handy carrying pouch secured around your waist. You wrap one arm around the tree trunk and shake it vigourously. Will the beast be successfully captured?

= Ask again later.

The A.K.S.O.F gives you the same response it almost always does. You find the A.K.S.O.F rather FRUSTRATING at times. Nonetheless you respect it and encourage it to take its time and answer only when it is ready to.

Aerise: Retrieve item. 

Your FORTUNE MODUS makes it difficult to get what it is you want at the moment. It always gives you the item you'll most likely need in the future. The length of time into the future varies. You would have gone with knocking the beast out cold and dragging it back with you, but of course, your staff is not what you receive. Instead you receive ROPE. You don't even understand what the rope is to be used for! It's best not to try and figure out what purpose it is to serve you in the future. You sigh and tie the rope loosely around your wrist. It'll come in handy at some point.

= ! 

Wait! Where has the horned hoof-beast gone? You should have been keeping an eye on it! Now it could be ANYWHERE!

= FIND THE HORNED HOOF-BEAST!

You drop down from the tree. (In your hurry to get down and find your target, you literally dropped down landing roughly.) You take off in the direction you think it ran off in. For a second you consider consulting the All-Knowing Sphere of Fortune and asking it if you will ever find the beast. After pondering it for a bit, you conclude that that is a horrible idea considering the answer it gave you before.

Aerise: Hide, someone's approaching!

There isn't enough time for you to climb another tree! You hide behind one instead. A human with blond hair suddenly darts out from a part of the forest. He (or she, you can't really tell) seems to be running away from something. The human passes you without even realizing it. Trees are very helpful.

Aerise: Investigate.

You hear an awfully strange sound. Nihihihi? What creature even sounds like that? You decide to investigate looking for the source of the noise. Gasp! The magnificent hoof beast! It's looking for the human. That human probably agitated it. No wonder he was getting chased by it! It's heading your way!

=EPIC FAIL!

You tried to jump out and tackle the beast and failed epically! The tree betrays you and uses one of its thick roots to trip you. You fall flat on your face. The hoof-beast was probably scared away!

=Look up!

Gasp! The hoof-beast! It's looking down at you! You tripped and landed in its path.

=TACKLE!

You successfully tackle it. Using the rope you received earlier you tie its legs together. It puts up quite a struggle, but you are unaffected. You are positive that Equius will love this gift.

Aerise: Laugh like a mad-man.

**-xoxo-**

**A/N:** Aerise is insane and yeah, I know it's short. This wasn't meant to be all that long anyway. Let me know if I got anything wrong or if there are any errors. Reviews are wonderful! : 3


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